A man on a mission. Payne to the Max! Yea!
the funny one
- Cammy: You are too nice.
- Guy: Oh, but you are too sweet my dear. A guy cannot help it with someone as lovely as you.
- Cammy: See what I mean. You make a gal blush bright red.
- Guy: Brighter than a your lipstick I see.
- Guy drops in his charming smile. Cammy laughs, very quiet and soft, and her cheeks burn brighter still.
- Cammy: You are a funny one.
- She says with an equally beautiful smile, still laughing.
- Guy: It's much better than what I've been called lately. I'm used to hearing creep being spat at me.
- Cammy: Oh my, I cannot see how. You are sweet, charming and quite funny. Why would someone call such a lovely guy, like you, a creep.
- Guy grins.
- Guy: Usually it is followed by 'Get away from my window!'
This is my pet, Two-toes. He is now about a metre long.
ha!
And you didn’t think I could just write ‘shit’ for a blog!
You know who you are, you.
:P
dawn of mankind
At first I grab him by the horns upon his swollen head to get him to the fire; I failed miserably, slipping as I tried. Then I grabbed him firmly by the balls, the other end of the spectrum (and certainly a handful with him being ten foot tall and all) and I tried once again only to fail, once again, with his balls squeezing out of my grip with a popping sound.
Fed up and exhausted, tired from gropping this grotesque beast I thought ‘If I can’t bring Johnny to the fire, bring the fire to Johnny.’
I pulled out one of the burning logs from the heart of the fire. The fire collapsed filling the gap of its missing brother and sent little fireflies into the darkened night.
I waved the flaming log over to ‘Johnny’. It certainly was a hideous creature, even in this bad light.
I tossed the fire onto his chest.
His skin blistered and sizzled. I could smell the flesh burning. It smelled of rotten swamp water. My nose stung at the stench. I took a few steps back, happy with my handy work, and watched the beast die slowly into the waning night.
Damn Trolls.
do you believe in Fate boy?
I let the hand of Fate deal my card tonight. It drew an Ace. That would normally be a good sign. But, Fate doesn’t have to be kind or generous. It can play the game any which way it chooses. The Ace was just a card, I took it as a good sign, but it was all a trick. Fate the trickster. Sounds fitting. Sounds about right.
To anyone who reads this, heed my words wisely.
I let fate choose, choose which movie I were to watch tonight. I drew a card. I called it an Ace, but Fate called it My Bloody Fucking Valentine.
Bastard Fate.
Next time, I think I’ll leave the choices up to me.
Ahh, Dita Von Teese. A woman whose feet I’d grovel at.
optional,
I do have a blog to post but I am uncertain of posting it yet. For no particular reason, or favour towards, I have made a few blogs about dicks, and some friends have made this aware to me. Quite aware indeed, and now all the talk at work revolves around dolphins and their dicks. (If a dolphin is well-hung, does he say ‘I’m hung like a whale?’)
Am I obsessed with dicks?
Simply answered; No. (Though they do make for funny blogs/jokes)
With that out of the way now, I was going to post my blog (which is about dicks, chicken/cow dicks to be precise), but I don’t feel like posting my previous blog idea, cause, once again, I have managed to blog about dicks.
Dammit!
I think I may have to cool it a li’l with the dick talk for a bit and maybe add a few pictures of gorgeous women just to establish, I mean really establish, my real obsession.
10-14 inches
I have to honestly say it all spawned from a single comment on a friends blog, as to why I know that a bottle-nosed dolphin has a penis that is 10-14 inches long and is prehensile. Odd, I know.
He, who shall remain nameless, though it wouldn’t be too hard to figure out who the nameless person was, made a blog about online dating and what does one write in their profile. My suggestion; ‘I am adventurous, open minded and hung like a dolphin’.
Till that point I only knew dolphins penes (I actually used the plural of penis!) were larger than humans, though I didn’t know how much larger (I am basing this all off averages people), and when it came up in conversation I delved deeper to find out; Just how long is a dolphins penis?
A few words in google and I got my results. Clicked a random link amongst the list and…
…
…
…
Oh…
I certainly did find out the length of a dolphins penis. A bottle-nosed dolphins penis is 10-14 inches and prehensile. And as an added bonus I found out a little more. Maybe a little too much, but that depends on why you are browsed that link.
Go to Google, type in dolphin penis size, click the second link in the list and read.
You’ll either laugh or turn away in disgust and bookmark it for future reference.
Lol
P.S.
And for a little further reading, click the fourth link.
